Apologies – I was unclear. I was trying to support what you said in your reply.

I was surprised that anyone would seriously consider it a gender issue. Evidence and how we think about it is one of the most genderless things we’ve got.

I love the nerve ending line, by the way – funny and true!

The assertion that I disliked the teacher’s “feel” approach regarding evidence is because it shows a total misunderstanding of what evidence is, not because I’m a man or trying my damnedest to bolster The Grand Patriarchy.

You’ve got evidence or you don’t. It’s not any more complicated than that – man or woman.

RightWingProf – happy birthday to him – had an excellent post about his graduate school experience:

http://rightwingnation.com/2008/03/29/my-birthday-rant/

In that post, he wrote:

“When I was in grad school, I or anyone else could have made this point in a PhD seminar. In fact, I did, and criticized a great many other studies, some better, some as bad as Lakoff (one couldn’t get worse). These days, if a grad student raised the point that Lakoff is nothing more than a string of personal essays, he would immediately be shouted down as not respecting “established research” and violating the cardinal rule of education: Opinion and fact are not distinct, because everything is an opinion, and all opinions are equally valid. He would probably also be called a misogynist, but such are the tools of the intellectually vapid that to silence critics, they call them names.”

I teach at a university, and have not, in at least the last five years, encountered any student using “think” instead of “feel.” It has nothing to do with their gender.

Thanks for your replies, let me clarify some of my comments. We have such different readings of this post!

Yes, “slew” was hyperbole, but those were not the only instances – I didn’t want to be guilty of the same nit-picking I was accusing you of.

On that same note, getting on Ms. K’s case for using the word “demanded” to describe parent’s behavior (and from that extrapolating that she has contempt for her students’ parents) is perplexing for someone with an appreciation for appropriately descriptive language. There are parents who view comments from teachers as constructive criticism intended to help their child learn and grow. And then there are parents who view any negative comment or grade as a personal affront. The word “demanded” makes me think the spelling-parents Ms. K referenced are of the “OUR CHILD IS FLAWLESS AND IF YOU CAN’T SEE THAT WE WILL HAVE YOUR JOB!” camp. To be clear, I am exaggerating these two types of parents – there is a continuum most fall into somewhere in between – and even though they can make a teacher’s job difficult, those protective parents are often excellent and engaged advocates for their children.

We seem to share “felt” as a hotbutton word. Following Robin Lakoff’s work on gendered language, women are more likely to use an emotion-laden word like “felt” where a man would use something like “thought” or omitting the hedge entirely. Criticizing someone for the simple use of a word that society has taught them to use based on their gender seems silly to me. I imagine you will view this differently.

As for the Groundhog Day metaphor, I’m not exactly sure what you are trying to show in your second post. How does her characterizing the experience as repetitive change your interpretation of her vague comment? Also the reason that movie was watchable was because it wasn’t simply a repetition of the exact same scenario twenty times. I thought Ms. K was referring to the grueling experience of having eighteen back to back conferences – even the ones she describes have no similarities other than that they involve a parent and a teacher.

Also, we can’t be chided for assuming that Ms. K thought most of the parent/teacher conferences were the same when, in her original, pre-edit post on Edwize, she concluded by referencing the “Groundhog Day experience of Parent Teacher Conferences.”

Compare the current conclusion:

“Overall the Parent Teacher Conferences in March were a huge learning experience. I am not sure how or if I will change my approach next year, but I know that I won’t ever be over-confident again heading into them.”

To the former conclusion:

“Overall the PTC’s this time around were a huge learning experience. I am not sure how or if I will change my approach next year. I will only say that I won’t ever be too confident again about the Groundhog Day experience of Parent Teacher Conferences.”

One points to the repetitive experience, one doesn’t.

The willingness of so many teachers to lend their instructional services is astounding! Thanks again.

To be honest – that’s what you seemed to ask for – I do find using “feel” when talking about simple evidence to be troubling, especially given the particular context. The contempt for parents and the failure to recognize professional responsibility was inexcusable, so I didn’t excuse it.

I think that teachers should be able to spell. I also think that in the age of word processing, simple spelling mistakes show carelessness [like my careless mistake shown in the very first comment here]. I’m glad that Edwize corrected the error.

And since we’re on the topic of words, I have to point out that a short quip about a spelling misstep and a comment about word selection doesn’t constitute a “slew.”

We know that Ms. K didn’t mention all her parent teacher conferences; I spoke to the ones she did mention and I didn’t guess about the rest. They may have been pleasant and effective.

I also don’t think that Ms. K did everything wrong.

Her comment was – as you said rightly – vague. It doesn’t suggest an urgency for improvement or even the most basic recognition that there were some problem areas.

Matt – You have some great points in the article, but do you really think they were best served up in a mocking and combative tone? I get that some of what Ms. K said rubbed you the wrong way, but constructive criticism is generally best given if the author takes some time to cool down. Your points about lack of teacher preparation in such a basic skill as talking to parents (and the need to communicate more than three times a year) were right on, but the slew of comments directed at nit-picking her word choice and spelling were totally unnecessary. Honestly, you have a problem with someone using the word “felt?”

And generally, to those who have jumped on Ms. K, for her final “I’m not sure how or if I will change my approach next year.” A short blog entry is not a complete account of every single parent teacher conference. It is almost impossible that Ms. K did everything wrong. Her comment here is vague – she could very well mean that she is going to continue to give honest feedback to parents about their child’s behavior as she did this time, even though it makes the conferences a little more difficult. That’s certainly something I wouldn’t want her to change.