I’m not an anti-union guy; I can even tell you how “Union Maid” is based on “Red Wing,” give alternate lyrics for each and play it on the banjo. I don’t sing very well, though.
I’ve mentioned in the past some bits that appeared on Edwize, the UFT’s blog. There’s subtle contempt for all the non-educators: parents, businesspeople, researchers, etc.
If you’re not [or haven't been] in the trenches, you generally don’t count.
It’s an argument that I don’t find compelling, but there are good ways to make it and important points to be discussed. That’s why I wanted to parse the comments of today’s Edwize diarist, a first-year 2nd grade teacher in NYC.
Here’s one of our trench-lieutenants giving us an excellent glimpse into flawed teacher education, poor administration/mentoring, and a bizarrely-inexperienced attitude about it all.
Surviving Parent Teacher Conferences
“My first round of Parent Teacher Conferences in November went fairly smoothly. The parents were kind and supportive, and as a first year teacher, I was secretly surprised by how confident they were in me and my judgement [sic].”
They went smoothly - that is good. We should aim for parent/teacher conferences that go smoothly [even if they sometimes don't]. Saying parents were kind and supportive *might* be condescending… I can’t tell yet.
But you were shocked that parents, most of whom are good people, want the best for their children and have faith in their school system, gave you the benefit of the doubt. That’s a little disturbing.
I am not confident in your ability to spell “judgment.” [Fine, fine, the teacher may be British.]
“Sure, I had been a little more critical this time around, but I felt I could back up all the number grades I had given with work samples, and all the behavior comments with specific examples. Shows how little I know.”
You *feel* that you have evidence? That’s the neat thing about evidence: it’s there or it’s not. Feelings really don’t factor in, especially when you’re trying to bolster the meaning of data.
What you’ve shown here is how little you know. But you’re a first year teacher, so the situation isn’t as dire as it might be.
“This round of Parent Teacher Conferences felt kind of like being in combat. I had many parents who were disappointed and wanted answers.”
Woah! The nerve of those nosy buggers!
“The conferences I had ranged from the bizarre to the tragic. I had one mother who pulled out her ipod phone and asked if I would mind being on speaker phone with her husband since he couldn’t get out of work. I didn’t feel I could say no.”
Oh, that’s weird. Downright freaky.
First, it’s an iPhone, not an ipod phone. Second, why on earth would you say no? It’s just a conference call. You should be thrilled that they’re making efforts to get both parents in on the discussion.
Is it really that awkward?
I hate to break it to you, newbie… but this is New York State. Any of those parents could’ve recorded your conversation and you’d have never known. That’s legal. Maybe it happened, maybe it didn’t, but you’re freaking out about a phone in plain view that allows you to speak to both parents at the same time.
“My attempts to explain what was happening with their son were interrupted by him saying “I can’t hear you, please speak INTO the phone.—
Oh, that’s terrible! Does your health insurance cover therapy for PTSD? I hope so.
“Then there was the mother who refused to get her daughter evaluated, despite years of pleading from teachers and the administration. During the course of our 40 minute meeting, she pulled out a copy of what she said was a writing sample she had just pulled out of her daughter’s backpack, with much of it erased and written over. The handwriting didn’t remotely resemble her daughters. When I told her that the handwriting didn’t look like her daughters, she told me I didn’t know what I was talking about. She flatly refused to even consider an evaluation for her daughter who has already been held over and who struggles in all subject areas.”
That is incredibly frustrating - I feel bad for the kid, the parent and the teacher[s]. I’m sorry that any of you have to deal with situations like this. I have no idea why the parent would go to such lengths to *avoid* help for her child, but I’m sure it’s a complex situation. I am with you on this one.
“Then there were the parents who demanded to know how I came up with a two (below grade level standard) for their daughter in spelling.”
This is a reasonable thing, despite your tendentious language. Demanded! Those rapscallions… those parents and their sense of entitlement…
Parents deserve simple, clear answers to questions like this. They’re asking about methodology and evidence - it isn’t hard to satisfy their inquiries. If your conclusion is genuine - and if you know the difference between your [redacted] and your elbow - it’s an easy question that you should want to field.
“The mother wanted to know why I hadn’t given progress reports until now, and the father said it felt like the grades I gave had come out of nowhere and were a complete surprise to them. It was only later that I realized I should have said that the whole point of report card was to give them a progress report.”
That you think report cards that come out every 10 weeks are an effective way to communicate students’ needs to parents worries me.
A lot. A lot a lot.^2
“I was very surprised by how many parents seemed upset about minor behavior comments. I wrote lengthy comments about each student, many of them glowing. The behavior comments I wrote were extremely tame, often nowhere close to describing what their child has been doing in class. But I learned that parents react strongly to even slight criticism of their son or daughter.”
Congrats on writing lengthy comments - too many teachers don’t take advantage of opportunities to communicate. I don’t know why you’re surprised, though… plenty of parents feel responsible for the behavior of their young children. I’d argue that all the good ones feel it. Do you really need to be a parent to see this?
“During the course of the day, I also began to really doubt my own management skills. As a first year teacher, I of course have struggled with management so I realized that it was very likely me and my own management skills that have been the problem.”
You probably should doubt your management skills - few first-year teachers [those few being the stuff of legend] have a handle on not only classroom management/planning, but also managing relationships with parents. Doubting skills breeds realization [in theory] and then you can take necessary steps - going to a mentor or even reading - to get better.
I wouldn’t blame yourself, though. If you went to ed school, they had 4 years with you [assuming you're waiting on that MA] and failed to teach you about the most seminal professional relationship that you’ll have as a teacher: teacher and parent.
If you pursued alternative certification, you didn’t have 4 years of training, but for whatever reason - likely time constraints and opportunity cost - they didn’t cover it properly.
You should not have entered the job unprepared. The training to which you were subjected failed to equip teachers with all the basic skills they needed to teach effectively.
But even if your training wasn’t adequate, your administration should step in. If your supervisors aren’t helping [or can't help] find someone who can. You are at a public school in Brooklyn, not an 18th century one-room schoolhouse in the isolated wilderness of Kan-tuck-ee.
You are also an adult who is capable of seeking out resources to solve problems, so maybe you should blame yourself a teeny bit.
“One funny conference with a dad turned into a half-hour conversation about the fate of Gov. Spitzer with only a short mention of his daughter’s progress. I have a feeling his wife may not let him go to conferences alone next time.”
This is your fault. It is your responsibility to keep the conversation on task. You’re the teacher - lead the conference.
I’m not suggesting that you shouldn’t have some candid [read: "normal human being"] conversations - it’ll lighten the mood and open up parents - but you chose to have a fun, easy conversation instead of talking about the student. That’s bad and I don’t find it all that funny.
“Overall the PTC’s this time around were a huge learning experience.”
You bet!
“I am not sure how or if I will change my approach next year.”
Oh, you’d better. [And yes, the bold/emphasis is mine.]
Especially if you’re going to remain teaching in New York State where I’m paying .00000000000000000001% of your salary and benefits. [Oh, and also if you're sincerely interested in becoming a good teacher and/or having the slightest bit of self-respect.]
Please “change [your] approach” for the sake of the students and their families. You’re writing on the Edwize blog, for the love of God - something tells me there are competent educators in the UFT Rolodex. Go talk to a good one who can help you develop your relationship with parents.
Then go talk to some parents and people in the private sector. Then try out the strategies. Then evaluate them, rinse and repeat.
One thing I love about organization-blogs is that they can give us such rare perspectives on what those organizations do - and don’t do - well. Thanks, Edwize! jeu de poker en lignetexas holdem frtexas holdem francepoker 770 gratuitesholdem poker onlinejouer au poker argentjouer streap pokerjouez au poker gratuitement,poker gratuitement,le poker a télécharger gratuitementpoker texas gratuitesregles poker holdregle poker omaharegle pokerjeux gratuitstexas holdem jeu gratuitesapprendre texas holdemstrip poker en ligneworld championship pokerstrip poker gratuitesdes règles du pokerregle du poker texas holdemparty pokerpoker en ligne sans argentplay free seven card studjeux de pokerplay free 7 card studtriche poker onlineamerican pokerpoli poquerjuego al instante paginas webjuego de poker pcseven card studrevista pokerjuego streep pokerplay omaha poker onlineholdem poker reglaspoker torneos gratisjuego de poker para descargarpoker para jugarpoker instrucciones de juegoel poquerpoquer 7juego del poker en lineaplay 7 card studpai gow poker webplay poker omaha freejuego al instante portales internetjuegos de poker en españoljugadas pokertexas holdem rulespoker com
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{ 37 comments… read them below or add one }
Joshua Fisher 03.17.08 at 5:36 pm
“Please “change [your] approach†for the sake of the students and their families. Your writing on the Edwize blog, for the love of God . . .”
Even if the above mistake was intentional, I am compelled by something in my genome to bring it to your attention.
: )
Must. Stop. Working.
Matthew K. Tabor 03.17.08 at 6:26 pm
Ha. Thanks for pointing out the typo - fixed it.
I know the feeling… I’ve typed about a billion words in the last hour and my fingers are about to snap off.
JTHRC 03.17.08 at 7:57 pm
There are too many things that this individual needs to work on that if he tries to do it all in one semester he will never be an expert at anything. Focus on one skill every day for a period of 30 days with a concerted effort every day to become perfect. If classroom management is a problem focus on one skill for the next 30 days and master it. It will become a habit then move on to the next. In ten years you will be a good teacher.
James Cronen 03.17.08 at 7:57 pm
Hi Matthew,
Good comments all, but let’s cut the newbie a little slack, shall we?
I do think that there’s a sense of misplaced accountability. Ask teachers who their “boss” is, and most will say their administrator. And in my opinion, most would be wrong — ultimately teachers report to their students first and their parents a close second.
This is what makes teaching difficult.
In the movie Office Space, Peter complains about having eight different bosses. To a regular working stiff, that sounds oppressive. Even worse, I’ll bet most of them are “dotted-line” bosses — people that we only kind of report to, who yell at us when we do something wrong but have no authority to praise us when we’ve done something right.
[Sorry to quote Office Space as canon, but hey, it's a good movie. :-)]
Eight bosses is terrible. Fifty-something is a nightmare.
I teach high school. Parents at my level have a general sense of how their students will negotiate the life ahead of them. If they haven’t been a good math student in the past, they’re probably not going to be a good math student now. I can offer tips to better handle my course and recommend that the student spend some more time with me after-school, but I can’t really enact much actual change. If the student’s been a slacker until now, chances are their work ethic will remain essentially the same throughout the rest of their school careers.
I couldn’t imagine teaching second grade. Parents still honestly believe that their children will be astronauts or billionaire executives or NBA stars.
And yes, it’s the teacher’s job to give each student the best possibility for a brilliant future.
But each time Junior is criticized, no matter how trivially, a small dent is etched from the child’s perfect veneer. Parents don’t like it and they will defend their children’s perfect façades to death.
And we know that half the children end up below average. Some may have learning disabilities or be lazy. Some have absentee parents. Others have controlling parents they wish to spite.
Half the children will be below average. This isn’t a statement of ability, or racism or classism, or anything of the sort. It’s purely a statement of statistics.
This sounds fatalistic, I know, but ultimately teachers are the only ones to present to parents their child’s shortcomings.
Students are crammed with course material but aren’t often taught how to think. Similarly, teachers get stuffed with educational theory, pedagogy, and teaching fads, but ed school doesn’t teach about parent relationships.
The good teachers will intuit that these relationships are important. Mediocre ones may not really “get it” for a few years.
So, go easy on the kid. If this were a tenth-year teacher I’d say there are issues, but the new teacher needs to hone her skills before we can critique the finer points of master teachers’ relationships with parents.
jim.
Joel 03.17.08 at 7:58 pm
Great analysis. Too often we summarize our experiences without digging in more deeply and analyzing. At least she is summarizing. That’s a positive step!
When I first started, I just went home and did anything except for thinking about work. I was hiding from reality. I really didn’t get it until a friend basically laid it out for me much the same way you have done here.
Matthew K. Tabor 03.17.08 at 8:27 pm
JTHRC,
What bothers me most is that it doesn’t occur to her to work on anything. Ideally, she’d have a mentor or boss who could sit down with her and go through all the points she could work on as well as a way to implement them - just like you suggested.
We know that most administrators don’t develop their teachers effectively, but maybe a grade-level leader could. Or maybe a friend or just a good teacher willing to help out a new one.
They probably won’t come to her, so she’ll have to seek it out. There’s nothing in that blog post to suggest that she will.
She also co-authors this blog with a national award winner for teaching, but seems not to consider nudging him with her elbow and asking for help.
And, from what I understand, the UFT has at least a handful of members. Unions aren’t just for negotiating, they can also serve as communities where people with shared interests/responsibilities help each other out.
There are 1,001 different solutions here, none of which were mentioned. Just that quip at the end suggesting that probably nothing will change.
Matthew K. Tabor 03.17.08 at 8:41 pm
James,
I can’t cut this newbie some slack - there’s no excuse for being a public school teacher and having absolutely no interest in improving.
Sitting down to write a post about the hiccups in your parent/teacher conferences and then closing it all up with a supreme disinterest in solving the problems doesn’t call for slack.
You are 100% right about the bosses, and a massive failing of school administrators is their inability to develop faculty properly [or even try]. Her supervisors have dropped the ball when they should be guiding her - there’s no question. I truly feel bad for teachers who don’t receive this support because they [and the students/families affected] deserve it. It’s responsible management.
“If this were a tenth-year teacher I’d say there are issues, but the new teacher needs to hone her skills before we can critique the finer points of master teachers’ relationships with parents.”
I don’t see these as fine points or part of master pedagogy. These are very simple, basic things.
How many years of teaching experience does it take before:
- a teacher feels [without contempt] that parents are entitled to clear answers about their child?
- a teacher thinks that a parent who wants to know about progress more than once every 2.5 months might be onto something?
- a teacher takes personal responsibility and actively seeks to improve themselves?
It’s perfectly reasonable to expect that a teacher with 4 years of college and presumably at least 4 years of adulthood should take every reasonable opportunity to improve their teaching - or its related responsibilities, like parent relationships.
Her bosses dropped the ball and so did her ed school or alternative certification program. That happens often - when it does, you’ve got to pursue it yourself by any of the [many, I pointed out] available means.
Matthew K. Tabor 03.17.08 at 8:51 pm
Joel,
Absolutely - summarizing is better than nothing. Not much, but it’s a start.
New teachers shouldn’t have to go through this - there is no reason for it, and that’s not a pie in the sky dream. Sometimes they’ll do self-analysis, sometimes a friend [like you said] or mentor will set them straight, sometimes… well, it could be anything.
I’m pleased that so many teachers are able to figure it out somehow [eventually], but it’s an unnecessary burden. There’s a massive failure here by education schools and administrators.
This teacher’s principal [or whomever is directly responsible for developing them] should be horrified and embarrassed, though they surely won’t be.
Instead, the teacher, kids and parents suffer.
Joel 03.17.08 at 8:58 pm
True. I was fortunate that I asked the principal about his philosophy of education in my very first interview for a teaching position. He told me that he sees education as customer service. It definitely challenged my views, but it was a good eye-opening kind of thing.
The customers are the parents and the community at large. The product that we serve them are educated children.
Michelle (The Beartwinsmom) 03.18.08 at 10:39 am
“I wouldn’t blame yourself, though. If you went to ed school, they had 4 years with you [assuming you’re waiting on that MA] and failed to teach you about the most seminal professional relationship that you’ll have as a teacher: teacher and parent.”
THIS is the stuff that teachers DESPERATELY need in undergrad school. It can’t wait until graduate school.
Matthew, I was cheering when you wrote in one of the comments above that you were not going to cut slack for the newbie. You HAVE to commit to improving yourself, especially when you are a teacher. For crying out loud, you want your STUDENTS to improve, so why not yourself?
I need to check this blog out.
Thanks again for picking apart things. :-)
~Michelle
Matthew K. Tabor 03.18.08 at 1:16 pm
Joel,
I wish every teacher took the initiative and talked with their principals about strategies. That’s a responsible [not to mention common sense] approach. It sounds like you were able to blend the ‘customer service’ theory with your own expertise.
For those who are more passive, I wish principals initiated the conversation and development. It’s necessary for everyone.
Matthew K. Tabor 03.18.08 at 1:21 pm
Michelle,
Absolutely - I find it troubling that there’s no sense of urgency, or even a need, to improve.
… especially when you’re posting on a blog for a teachers union with hundreds of thousands of members. There are plenty of people who could [and likely want to] help. The last line about not being sure whether she would do anything differently is what really struck me.
And you’re right - expecting students to take an aggressive approach to improvement when we don’t do it ourselves doesn’t make much sense.
TF 03.18.08 at 1:39 pm
I can only assume that your response to this article fits some agenda pertinent to the numerous careers you profess. Clearly, you are someone who has spent no appreciable time in front of a classroom (if you ever have) and ran quickly to safe-haven of “consulting” when you realized that it just wasn’t for you. Most of what you say is completely unresponsive to the article and lacks any kind of analytic contribution to the point Ms. K was making.
As a teacher for seven years on the secondary level with some experience teaching overseas, I can unequivocally confirm that what often occurs at parent teacher conferences is not an attempt by parents to evaluate their child’s performance vis a vis a particular teacher but a theater of the absurd in which self-absorbed parents display their family pathology for teachers facing a long line of others. Husbands argue with wives through their children — parents cover their own inadequacies or their child’s in some weird attempt to justify the way they live their lives. Anyone who has not witnessed this behavior has never been a teacher in the United States.
Of course, this is the exception to the rule. Normal parents who come to parents night listen to and consider the opinion of the teacher and have discussions later with their children. The parents Ms. K is talking about are instead there to lobby for their children’s claims to future greatness and to deflect any blame for failures away from themselves.
There are several things you said that simply make no sense:
1) The iphone parent — speaker phones don’t work well and it is insulting to make a busy professional repeat a statement into an inanimate box because you were too lazy or self-important to make time to actually attend the conference. I can assure you that no parent outside the United States would ever do this to a teacher without asking permission well in advance.
2) On evidence — Outside of multiple-choice tests, all educational evaluation has some element of subjectivity. Ms. K was largely talking about behavior comments of a minor character which are, of course (outside of video surveillance)entirely subjective. Your comments on this subject were, at best, misapplied and again indicate that you have no actual experience with this subject.
3) On teacher preparation — You leap to the conclusion that Ms. K was inadequately prepared for the classroom. Let me put you at ease, no teacher is ever prepared for the classroom by an academic program. Supervisors never help. Like consultants, the deer-tick’s of the educational world, administration has agendas beyond educating children. Anyone who believes that the solution to our educational problems is more and better administration is certainly naive and likely a Conservative Republican. The only way to improve as a teacher is to teach, to retool during breaks and to talk to (or better yet watch)other teachers. Your post alludes to this, but your language is so clouded with spittle and froth that it was hard to see. I hope the “private education” you provide includes a more deliberate, rational and humanistic outlook.
4) On not improving — I saw no evidence that Ms. K doesn’t want to improve. In fact, she wrote an entire article about something that surprised her. She seemed to be soliciting comments from other teachers, unfortunately, what she got was some uninformed and insulting drivel from an upstate hack. My advice, Matt, is to concentrate on the political consulting (only for Republicans please) and the web-design because on this subject you have no idea what you’re talking about.
Don’t worry Ms. K — you’re on the right track.
Joel 03.18.08 at 2:27 pm
TF,
I don’t think anyone said she was not on the right track. But simply being on the track doesn’t mean you’re going anywhere. Her comment at the conclusion of the article is really what disturbs me (and others).
Overall the Parent Teacher Conferences in March were a huge learning experience. I am not sure how or if I will change my approach next year, but I know that I won’t ever be over-confident again heading into them.
If we acknowledge that something is a learning experience, and we choose not to change as a result of it, what kind of an example are we setting for our students? What kind of a life are we setting up for ourselves?
I am in my sixth year of teaching middle school band (all in the United States, by the way). I have had over 150 students regularly each year. The conferences I have had, by and large, have been peaceable. I have had parents question me about grades and never felt like I needed to be sneaky in giving them this information. In fact, I gladly show them their child’s gradebook entry and explain each of the assignments and grades we have there. Seems reasonable.
If I had children and their teacher gave them low grades, determined that my child was below grade-level standards, and failed to alert me of the problem, I would be understandably shocked.
Again, I teach over 150 students and make it a point to let parents know if their child is beginning to fall behind. Even in the worst school system in the US, I can’t imagine a 2nd grade teacher being assigned more than 60 students of her own. Is it really too much to expect a teacher, whom I trust has a vested interest in the success of my child, would make the effort to contact me and let me know (s)he’s falling behind in classwork?
I really thought it was funny how Conservative Republican is thrown out as a huge insult. That made me smile even more. :)
I’m sorry you’ve had bad experiences.
I think that if we refuse to accept any responsibility for our problems, then we are doomed to continue having those problems. If we accept responsibility and aim to fix them, we might learn something in the process of fixing them. Sure things might stay the same, but that’s a risk we run. At least the chance of improvement is much greater when we are trying to improve.
Matthew K. Tabor 03.18.08 at 2:31 pm
TF,
There’s plenty to respond to here, but I’ll try my best.
I don’t have an agenda. If I did, I’d align it more closely to something economic. Certainly no one interested in graduate or professional school admissions cares much about parent/teacher conferences. It’s anything but a safe haven, too.
Aside from the one parent who went to great lengths to avoid discussing her child’s problems, they all seemed fairly normal. At the worst, a few probably pressed hard for explanations. They could be shifting accountability or working out problems with each other through the teacher/student, but they could also be trying to get to the point quickly because the conferences are necessarily so short. I really don’t know - only Ms. K would.
Your numbered points:
1) I personally don’t find the iPhone request insulting at all. It would be better if both parents could be there, but we have no clue what the circumstances were. To automatically assume that the parent chose a petty piece of their job - or total disinterest, as you suggest - is a mistake.
That parents outside the United States would be unlikely to make this arrangement is a function of quite a few factors, none of which really matter here. From what I understand, iPhones are less common in places like Namibia and wouldn’t pop out at the parent/teacher conference; since Ms. K teaches in Brooklyn, NY, USA, it’s not relevant. It could make for interesting discussion, though.
2) I don’t know how you know what Ms. K meant when she talked about evidence, but nothing in the post suggests that it was “largely … about behavior.” That may be the case; I read it more generally.
3) I never stated that Ms. K was deficient in the classroom. Nothing suggests that she is, and I don’t see where she even addressed it. She sounds like a caring teacher.
When I talked about a lack of preparation, I meant it in a holistic sense; she clearly wasn’t prepared for parent/teacher conferences or, more generally, communicating with parents. I could have been more clear about that.
I agree with you completely that supervisors - especially in education - aren’t nearly as helpful as they could be. It’s a travesty that teachers have to figure out so much on their own. It’s funny, the required exam for NYS teacher certification can include questions like [roughly] “What is the role of a Superintendent?” and “What is the role of a principal?” The multiple choice answers, of course, have bits about instructional leadership, but we seldom see it in practice.
Better administration would help - if only to free up great teachers so, as you said, they could spend more time helping each other.
4) Ms. K didn’t seem eager to improve. Her line near the post’s closing, the one about not changing her approach, didn’t suggest that there was any urgency to examine her strategies.
Your unhinged obsession with using Republican as an insult is banal. I’m not a registered Republican and I wouldn’t describe myself as a Conservative Republican, either.
Your unhinged obsession with denigrating consultants is partly justified. I’m embarrassed at how so many independent contractors bilk school districts out of tens of thousands of dollars. I had an associate of a firm under a public school contract for $50k-ish tell me that un-shaded windows in elementary classrooms “increase learning by double digits” - whatever that’s supposed to mean.
But consultants are like lawyers. Even if most are bad, responsible people judge them on a case by case basis. Oddly enough, I haven’t heard any bloodsucking lawyer jokes re: Barack Obama - even in my Conservative Right-wing Conspiratorial Re-THUG-lican circles! Hahah!
And for that final unhinged obsession, I’ve got to praise you for calling me an “upstate hack.” It was precious.
But I’m confused - I thought the Mason-Dixon line was further south? Or does it run through NYS somewhere around Westchester?
Which reminds me, that new Domino’s commercial for the Brooklyn-style pizza just tickles me to no end. It’s like watching a National Geographic documentary about a foreign country! We upstate had no clue that people talked that way! [Here we mostly communicate with simple grunts and rude hand-gestures.]
It’s exciting to *finally* experience real diversity!
TF 03.18.08 at 3:31 pm
Matt,
Thank you for confirming that you really have no experience with this subject and agreeing that much of what you wrote was off-base. I take the rational tone of your response to me as an acknowledgment of the fact that the tone of your comments on Ms.K’s article were unnecessarily mocking. It is so much easier to unload the work of distant third party.
I stand by my comments about the I-phone situation, although it is a minor point. I can only imagine what would have happened if a Japanese parent in the elementary school I taught in had attempted to put a teacher on a speaker phone without express advance consent. The father here should either have made time to come to the conference or trusted his wife enough to handle the conference herself.
Again, preparation for parent conferences is largely irrelevant and administrators/consultants are worse than useless. Communicating reality to parents without freaking them out in such a way that it helps the students is an art-form that must be learned but can never be entirely mastered.
The partisan comments I made were an assumption based on your vaguely expressed hostility to unions. I must say, that virtually all Republicans on the web today claim to be independents because they are so ashamed of their party and so incapable of defending it. If you say that you’re not a Republican, I believe you. If you say “I’m one of the good consultants” — I’m sorry, but I won’t believe you until I see some better educational analysis.
On your upstate hackery — I notice you left the “hack” alone and focused on the “upstate”. Good decision. I live in NYC and I taught in the Hudson Valley and would hazard a guess that the parent-teacher dynamic is a little different in Cooperstown.
The fact that you have the time and inclination to focus on a Domino’s pizza ad is precious. Get a DVR and just skip through…
Oh, and a little advice you might pass on to clients on writing college essays: repeating the same descriptive word or phrase over and over again both reduces its power and makes the writer look boring and lacking in creativity. See: “unhinged”.
Julia 03.18.08 at 4:35 pm
TF,
Your unparalleled ability to build and demolish strawmen instead of actually addressing points presented, is that one of the skills you acquired in the course of your eight years of teaching in the U.S. and abroad?
And what a statement it makes about our system, that a person who is charged with educating our kids can use “Republican” as a pejorative without a hint of irony! Put the chalk down, and step away from the classroom slowly!
Colin 03.18.08 at 5:24 pm
tf,
We get it. You’ve been overseas (thus more enlightened). You love NYC and hate upstate. You’re a parody straight out of the stuffwhitepeoplelike blog.
Your Japanese experience is, in the case of the iPhone, irrelevant. It’s a whole different culture. You’re basically just bragging. We’re all very impressed. Besides, the woman asked if it was OK to call in her husband on a conference call. Ms. K said sure. That’s consent, baby. She could have said no. Granted, she’s a first year teacher and was probably a bit flustered. That’s OK. Live and learn. It’s fine for her to be annoyed by it, but she should identify that she can veto such requests in the future if she thinks they result in an ineffective communication.
I adore how you made immature partisan insults, and when called on it, defended it due to an anti-UTF stance, like that makes it OK or something. “Oh it’s OK, he disagrees with me!” Totally over your head. Same with your “upstate hack” justification, as if the upstate part wasn’t an intentional dig. Hopefully your partisan bias doesn’t carry over to the classroom.
Suzie Creamcheese 03.18.08 at 5:43 pm
The thing that jumped out at me was that there was no mention of “continuing ed.” Or the need to examine closely what happened in an effort to learn/improve.
Its as if by becoming a teacher there is no longer a need to learn.
This character flaw has been the downfall of many a “nice” person but poor teacher. She is still young and hopefully someone will point out that in real life “journaling about your negative experiences” doesn’t relieve you of the responsibility to improve. Unless perhaps you are a successful emo band and making way more money than any 25 of us.
Great post!
Matthew K. Tabor 03.18.08 at 6:07 pm
“Oh, and a little advice you might pass on to clients on writing college essays: repeating the same descriptive word or phrase over and over again both reduces its power and makes the writer look boring and lacking in creativity. See: “unhingedâ€.”
Those Greek rascals called it “anaphora.” Admittedly, it’s really only anaphora when the repetition comes at the start of neighboring clauses or sentences. I stretched it out so the effect was lessened.
You’ve also just condemned the following line:
“We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight on the landing grounds, we shall fight in the fields and in the streets, we shall fight in the hills…”
Boring and lacking in creativity indeed.
[insert predictable reply about how I'm no Churchill]
JTHRC 03.18.08 at 7:28 pm
On TF’s Post:
“The only way to improve as a teacher is to teach, to retool during breaks and to talk to (or better yet watch)other teachers.”
I agree with this only partially. Having gone through an undergraduate and graduate teaching teaching program for mathematics I was taught numerous approaches to the subject area but NEVER was taught about how to handle or conduct a teacher’s conference. NEVER did we discuss how to empathise with a parent or how a parent might feel about his or her children. No administrator ever sat me down and prepared me for what to expect. What I get from the Ms. K. is that she has been through the same preparation I went through and heard the complaining, blame it on the parents, throw you to the wolves, no one from the “outside the classroom” world can teach me anything about teaching, laughing in the corner with my other “experienced” teacher cronies at the “new kid” as he struggles to make his way through his first year, “expert” teacher like TF in the background offering no help at all.
1. Learning everything you can about how a parent thinks if you do not have children of your own.
2. Find resources OUTSIDE of the education world on working with people.
Any teacher who wants to have better relations with parents should consider sales training and stay away from mental cases like TF.
Ma 03.19.08 at 10:28 pm
You wrote:
> I have no idea why the parent would go to such lengths to *avoid* help
> for her child, but I’m sure it’s a complex situation.
If you had been “in the trenches” you might have an idea why parents seek to “avoid help.”
Matthew K. Tabor 03.19.08 at 10:39 pm
Ma,
Can you explain more about that?
Twigster 03.20.08 at 7:36 pm
Matt,
I taught reading for 25 years. The last 20 were teaching remedial reading in Tampa.
I had to get out when I realized that some parents (3 come to mind in my last 4 years) purposely torpedoed their kid’s reading development.
Why?
They did not want their middle school student to read better than they could!!!! Honest.
It was time for me to get out before I choked someone!
I too thought the reasons were complex. Maybe this is what was meant with “I have no idea why the parent would go to such lengths to *avoid* help for her child, but I’m sure it’s a complex situation..”
Matthew K. Tabor 03.20.08 at 7:45 pm
Twigster,
What a terrible story. It’s sad when those things happen and it must have been incredibly frustrating knowing that forces well beyond your influence [let alone control] were at work.
Ma 03.20.08 at 8:28 pm
You wrote:
> > > I have no idea why the parent would go to such lengths to *avoid* help
> > > for her child, but I’m sure it’s a complex situation.
Ma wrote on March 19th, 2008 at 10:28 pm:
> > If you had been “in the trenches†you might
> > have an idea why parents seek to “avoid help.â€
You wrote:
Can you explain more about that?
There are parents/guardians who resist having their children receive “extra help” as it labels their children. Also knowing that it may be impossible to have labels removed once placed on their children serves to deter parents from seeking services.
There are parents who see “extra help” as placing their children into segregated places within the schools.
There are parents who find it difficult to acknowledge that their children do need “extra help” and see it as a reflection of their own parenting skills.
There are parents who are content with the present placement of their children.
Matthew K. Tabor 03.20.08 at 8:38 pm
Ma,
Yes, I think we all understand. I meant that I wasn’t going to hazard a guess about why that particular parent was opposed.
Emily T 03.21.08 at 12:58 pm
TF - right on.
Matt - You have some great points in the article, but do you really think they were best served up in a mocking and combative tone? I get that some of what Ms. K said rubbed you the wrong way, but constructive criticism is generally best given if the author takes some time to cool down. Your points about lack of teacher preparation in such a basic skill as talking to parents (and the need to communicate more than three times a year) were right on, but the slew of comments directed at nit-picking her word choice and spelling were totally unnecessary. Honestly, you have a problem with someone using the word “felt?”
And generally, to those who have jumped on Ms. K, for her final “I’m not sure how or if I will change my approach next year.” A short blog entry is not a complete account of every single parent teacher conference. It is almost impossible that Ms. K did everything wrong. Her comment here is vague - she could very well mean that she is going to continue to give honest feedback to parents about their child’s behavior as she did this time, even though it makes the conferences a little more difficult. That’s certainly something I wouldn’t want her to change.
Matthew K. Tabor 03.21.08 at 3:11 pm
Emily,
The willingness of so many teachers to lend their instructional services is astounding! Thanks again.
To be honest - that’s what you seemed to ask for - I do find using “feel” when talking about simple evidence to be troubling, especially given the particular context. The contempt for parents and the failure to recognize professional responsibility was inexcusable, so I didn’t excuse it.
I think that teachers should be able to spell. I also think that in the age of word processing, simple spelling mistakes show carelessness [like my careless mistake shown in the very first comment here]. I’m glad that Edwize corrected the error.
And since we’re on the topic of words, I have to point out that a short quip about a spelling misstep and a comment about word selection doesn’t constitute a “slew.”
We know that Ms. K didn’t mention all her parent teacher conferences; I spoke to the ones she did mention and I didn’t guess about the rest. They may have been pleasant and effective.
I also don’t think that Ms. K did everything wrong.
Her comment was - as you said rightly - vague. It doesn’t suggest an urgency for improvement or even the most basic recognition that there were some problem areas.
Matthew K. Tabor 03.21.08 at 3:30 pm
Emily,
Also, we can’t be chided for assuming that Ms. K thought most of the parent/teacher conferences were the same when, in her original, pre-edit post on Edwize, she concluded by referencing the “Groundhog Day experience of Parent Teacher Conferences.”
Compare the current conclusion:
“Overall the Parent Teacher Conferences in March were a huge learning experience. I am not sure how or if I will change my approach next year, but I know that I won’t ever be over-confident again heading into them.”
To the former conclusion:
“Overall the PTC’s this time around were a huge learning experience. I am not sure how or if I will change my approach next year. I will only say that I won’t ever be too confident again about the Groundhog Day experience of Parent Teacher Conferences.”
One points to the repetitive experience, one doesn’t.
Emily T 03.21.08 at 5:22 pm
Matt,
Thanks for your replies, let me clarify some of my comments. We have such different readings of this post!
Yes, “slew” was hyperbole, but those were not the only instances - I didn’t want to be guilty of the same nit-picking I was accusing you of.
On that same note, getting on Ms. K’s case for using the word “demanded” to describe parent’s behavior (and from that extrapolating that she has contempt for her students’ parents) is perplexing for someone with an appreciation for appropriately descriptive language. There are parents who view comments from teachers as constructive criticism intended to help their child learn and grow. And then there are parents who view any negative comment or grade as a personal affront. The word “demanded” makes me think the spelling-parents Ms. K referenced are of the “OUR CHILD IS FLAWLESS AND IF YOU CAN’T SEE THAT WE WILL HAVE YOUR JOB!” camp. To be clear, I am exaggerating these two types of parents - there is a continuum most fall into somewhere in between - and even though they can make a teacher’s job difficult, those protective parents are often excellent and engaged advocates for their children.
We seem to share “felt” as a hotbutton word. Following Robin Lakoff’s work on gendered language, women are more likely to use an emotion-laden word like “felt” where a man would use something like “thought” or omitting the hedge entirely. Criticizing someone for the simple use of a word that society has taught them to use based on their gender seems silly to me. I imagine you will view this differently.
As for the Groundhog Day metaphor, I’m not exactly sure what you are trying to show in your second post. How does her characterizing the experience as repetitive change your interpretation of her vague comment? Also the reason that movie was watchable was because it wasn’t simply a repetition of the exact same scenario twenty times. I thought Ms. K was referring to the grueling experience of having eighteen back to back conferences - even the ones she describes have no similarities other than that they involve a parent and a teacher.
Michael 03.30.08 at 9:53 am
Following Robin Lakoff’s work on gendered language, women are more likely to use an emotion-laden word like “felt†where a man would use something like “thought†or omitting the hedge entirely. Criticizing someone for the simple use of a word that society has taught them to use based on their gender seems silly to me. I imagine you will view this differently.
I teach at a university, and have not, in at least the last five years, encountered any student using “think” instead of “feel.” It has nothing to do with their gender.
Matthew K. Tabor 03.30.08 at 7:28 pm
Michael,
The assertion that I disliked the teacher’s “feel” approach regarding evidence is because it shows a total misunderstanding of what evidence is, not because I’m a man or trying my damnedest to bolster The Grand Patriarchy.
You’ve got evidence or you don’t. It’s not any more complicated than that - man or woman.
RightWingProf - happy birthday to him - had an excellent post about his graduate school experience:
http://rightwingnation.com/2008/03/29/my-birthday-rant/
In that post, he wrote:
“When I was in grad school, I or anyone else could have made this point in a PhD seminar. In fact, I did, and criticized a great many other studies, some better, some as bad as Lakoff (one couldn’t get worse). These days, if a grad student raised the point that Lakoff is nothing more than a string of personal essays, he would immediately be shouted down as not respecting “established research†and violating the cardinal rule of education: Opinion and fact are not distinct, because everything is an opinion, and all opinions are equally valid. He would probably also be called a misogynist, but such are the tools of the intellectually vapid that to silence critics, they call them names.”
Michael 03.30.08 at 10:17 pm
Matthew, I wasn’t responding to you at all. I agree with you. In fact, I regularly rant to my students that the brain has no nerve endings, so that when they say “feel” when they ought to say “think,” it’s clear they aren’t using their brains.
Matthew K. Tabor 03.30.08 at 10:36 pm
Michael,
Apologies - I was unclear. I was trying to support what you said in your reply.
I was surprised that anyone would seriously consider it a gender issue. Evidence and how we think about it is one of the most genderless things we’ve got.
I love the nerve ending line, by the way - funny and true!
Colin 03.31.08 at 7:33 pm
Truth is, “I think” isn’t needed either in most cases. It’s mostly a defense mechanism against being wrong. I’m not saying I never use it, but when I do it’s when I’m genuinely unsure of something and I’m trying to convey that. However, many students use some sort of qualifier with everything they say nowadays.
Michael 04.01.08 at 11:03 am
Colin, you’re right, and that’s the next lesson in my regular rant: you don’t need to say “I think,” given that you’re the one speaking (or writing).